Talk Like a Pirate Day
by Chellerbelle
Summary: Kurt celebrates Talk Like a Pirate Day, as does one of the Brotherhood, which Rogue finds out the hard way.


**Disclaimer: **Not affiliated with Marvel, or Disney. I don't own the characters or the song "Yo Ho (a pirates life for me)"

Just a little something I came up with at the last minute. There may be typos, so I will edit later, but I wanted to get it up before Talk Like a Pirate Day was completely over. Also, I may retitle this story slightly later to something a little less generic. On a related note, Day of the Ninja is 5th of December...

**Talk Like A Pirate Day**

Kurt admired his reflection in the mirror, well pleased with what he saw: white buccaneer's shirt with long sleeves rolled up to the elbow and a brown vest over the top, brown pants, a thick red sash, a red bandana, and a pair of swords at his sides.

"Arr," he said.

A final check to make sure that everything was absolutely perfect, and then he headed downstairs for breakfast. He couldn't hide his grin as his fellow X-men spotted him.

"Little early for Halloween, aren't you?" Rogue asked him.

"Halloween? Arr, I spit on Halloween," Kurt replied enthusiastically. "This be Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I be talking like a pirate all day. Ahar."

"Riiiight."

Rogue watched and shook her head as Kurt swaggered over to the fridge to acquire the makings of breakfast. He was quite well aware of the staring from Rogue and everyone else who came in, but paid them no mind except to say "Ahoy mateys" every now and then, and often received giggling in return, and the occasional "ahoy matey" back.

"What in the world are you wearing, Elf?" Logan demanded, stopping short in the kitchen.

"Arr, that be Captain Nightcrawler, ye scurvy dog!" Kurt replied, turning on Logan with a carton of milk in hand. "And I be wearing clothes fit for the most notorious pirate ever to sail the seven seas."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Kurt. He didn't just call Wolverine a 'scurvy dog' did he?

Logan stared hard at Kurt. Kurt stared back, inwardly wondering if replying to Logan like that was the smartest decision.

"Don't ye know that staring at a pirate be dangerous for ye health?" Kurt asked, breaking the silence and wondering if he was about to regret his words. "I oughta slit your gizzard."

Logan snorted. "Try not to get too carrying away, _Captain_."

The room noticeably relaxed as Logan went about his business. Kurt felt particular jubilant. This was going to be the best day ever!

x-x-x

This was going to be the worst day ever.

"And Kurt," the Professor said, ending his address to the X-men in the War Room, "I don't mind you talking like a pirate during this mission, provided we can all understand what you're saying, but I expect to see you in uniform."

Kurt stifled a sigh. "Aye aye, Professor."

He wisely kept his grumbling to himself as he and the rest of the X-men left. Of all the days for the Brotherhood to start causing mayhem, it just had to be on Talk Like a Pirate Day when he had all these plans of talking and looking like a pirate all day. Those guys were no fun.

Kurt rejoined the rest of the X-men on the Blackbird, determined to still enjoy himself. After all, the Professor did say he could continue to talk like a pirate even if he couldn't look like one. That was still in the spirit of the holiday, after all.

Finally, the Blackbird touched down on the street where the Brotherhood were causing mayhem. A blur that could only be Pietro was seen whizzing around from place to place. Lance was happily ripping up the road and toppling buildings. Fred was throwing around cars and anything else large and heavy he could get his hands on. Toad was making a general nuisance of himself. Finally, Pyro was send out fires in the shape of pirates and burning everything he could lay their swords on.

"Oh great," said Kitty drlyy. "It's another pirate."

"Arr and what be that supposed to mean, wench?" Kurt asked.

"It means that there's another one of you celebrating this silly holiday," Kitty replied. "Also, ninjas are better. And don't call me a wench."

"Wench means woman,' Kurt replied. "Are ye be saying ye not a woman? Should I be calling you lass instead? And pirates be way cooler than ninjas."

"They so are not," Kitty said.

"Arr too."

"Are not."

"Arr too."

"Children?" Rogue said, stepping between them. "Can we restrict ourselves to fighting the enemy and not each other, right now?

Kurt and Kitty agreed, but eyed each other off as they headed down the ramp. It wasn't over.

The X-men leapt into battle. Kurt went after Pyro.

"Avast ye scurvy dog!" Kurt declared after teleporting right in front of him. "It's time to make ye walk the plank!"

Pyro grinned at him. "Arr! At least one o' ye bilge rats is actually worth me time. Prepare to be boarded! Wait, no, that sounds more like a pick up line.."

Kurt blanched, teleported, and then grabbed the hoses attached to Pyro's flame thrower and ripped them off by teleporting again.

"Wha... hey!" Pyro objected. "Arr, ye be paying for that, yarr salt-crusted, sea-drinking, deckhand."

"First ye have to catch me, ye flea-infested cur!" Kurt declared.

Although Pyro was without his flame thrower, there were still plenty of flames around for him to play with. Kurt teleported to and fro, dodging and striking out at Pyro.

"I'll throw ye to the sharks, ye pox-infected sea slug!" Pyro yelled.

"I'll see you swing from the yardarm, ye blistering barnacle!" Kurt yelled back between teleports.

"Stop that dancing around and face me like a man, ye yellow-bellied mermaid molester!" Pyro shouted, shaking his fist at Kurt.

"Mermaid molester?" Kurt repeated, and he paused just long enough in his teleports for Pyro to hit him.

Fortunately for Kurt, Rogue saw what was going on. Pyro was so distracted by punching Kurt so that the couldn't concentrate to teleport again, that he didn't notice Rogue coming up from behind, and by the time he saw Rogue's bare fingers sneak around his face, it was too late.

"Phew," Kurt said, rubbing his ribs.

"Arr," said Rogue as she pulled her glove back on, with Pyro slumped at her feet. "Ye got to be learning how to take a punch better."

Kurt stared at her. "Did ye just talk like a pirate?"

Rogue paused, and then glared down at Pyro.

"Curse ye, villain," she said. "I just had to absorb ye enthusiasm for this ridiculous day."

Kurt laughed, and then stopped because it hurt too much. They got no further along in their conversation, for at that moment a couple of cards floated down in their midst and exploded. When the dust cleared, Gambit was standing not that far away, slinging Pyro over his shoulder.

"I'll be taking this," Gambit said.

"Ye be taking something in a minute, ye bildge rat," Rogue said, stalking over. "What the hell ye be doing back with the Brotherhood? I thought ye were still in New Orleans."

"I was, I came back. The Brotherhood gave me so many more opportunities for looting," Gambit replied tolerantly. "Speaking of looting, that's a mighty fine treasure chest you have there."

Kurt narrowed his eyes when he saw Gambit pointedly looking at Rogue's chest and teleported between them.

"Arr, keep yer lecherous eye off me sister, ye treacherous dog," Kurt said, practically growling at Gambit.

"Treacherous dog? Really?" Gambit said dryly. "I've been called worse than that. Now, if you'll excuse me, Pyro's gained a few pounds, and Colossus went and joined you guys."

He started to walk off and then glanced back at them.

"Never know, I might decide to have the same idea," he said.

Gambit gave Rogue a wink, but before either of them could respond to his line or to his escape, a handful of cards came flying in their direction. The subsequent explosions did more than enough to ensure Gambit could disappear with Pyro before they could follow.

After that, Rogue used Pyro's powers to douse the last of the fires, and the rest of the Brotherhood quickly retreated. The X-men did what they could to clean up, but quickly departed before authorities could arrive.

x-x-x

_"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me!"_ Kurt and Rogue sang.

They were sitting on the kitchen bench with bottles of cola in their hands and they swayed from side to side as they couldn't to sing and act like drunken pirates. Kurt was back in his pirate costume, while Rogue had put together the nearest approximation from her clothes.

_"We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.  
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,  
Drink up me hearties, yo ho. "_

"Note to self," Kitty said to the group she was attempting to have lunch with. "Never let Rogue absorb Pyro on Talk Like a Pirate Day again."

"_Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.  
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho."_

"Do you think we could distract them by putting on _Pirate of the Caribbean_?" asked Bobby as Rogue stood up on the bench.

_"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me."_

And the next words were emphasised with a pyro-technic display:

_"We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.  
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho."_

"Rogue!" numerous X-men objected.

_"We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.  
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho."_

"Really bad eggs," Jamie repeated with a giggle.

_"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.  
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,  
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho. "_

Kitty shook her head. "Ninjas are better."


End file.
